During the individual sessions, I hear how much in relationships within the couple, it is important, before being good with the other, to be well with yourself ….
Being available to others requires the ability to acquire the ability to define one’s interior space and to be able to get rid of daily, professional or family hassles.
From his ability to listen to himself and to be able to accept himself in his feelings, to recognize himself in his feelings, follows the ability to hear others and to enter into communication.
Tense, stressed, we cannot envisage this availability, this openness.
Tired either. Giving yourself spaces, recovery times is fundamental.
The learning of physical relaxation leads to the disconnection with mental ruminations detrimental to a real presence to the other, whether physical or mental.
Then comes the aspect most intimate awareness of the body schema. The harmony within a couple resonates through a harmony achieved in physical intimacy. Knowing yourself in and through your body and bodily sensations contributes to a pleasant experience of them.
Whether heard in his bodily sensations to reach agreed also in intimacy with his partner.
Harmony in this matter is also due to letting go on the one hand, and presence, present presence on the other hand.
The relaxation therapy contributes to this (re) conquest of the ability to live in the present moment, without pollution of past elements and without pollution of future projections.
This investment of the moment achieves real letting go. Investing in the virgin present moment with disturbing elements from the past or from a hypothetical future leads to a different understanding of the situations of everyday couple life. Mundane, they can be adorned with other colors. New ones that are rediscovered every day.
Unlearning to assume they will be the attitudes and reactions of the other. This other who shares our life, we have chosen is always present as we liked. Not locking him up in a connoted look is both a mark of love and the pledge to make each day present the emergence of what we liked, attracted, thrilled in the other to the point of sharing his life. with him or with her.
The practice of relaxation therapy allows gradually learn to see things differently. Not by artificially covering them with a veil of positivity but by giving them back their correct size, objectively.
This heightening, distance is saving in the couple relationship. If the other changes, we change, too…. If we change, the other changes, too … There is an alternating interactivity and without impermeability in couple relationships. The one we can act on is ourselves …
Self-acceptance, self-recognition, in its multidimensionality, its shadows as well as light, makes us progress towards an appeasement and an interior fullness which, by strengthening us, no longer subjects the acts of the other to distorting lens of our eyes.
It is a path of freedom that we give and we offer the other to have his own feelings.
It is as if we now know that any word or other act of the other is not spoken against us but only reduced to what he / she is; namely the expression of an individual feeling of which we can possibly be the subject.
Author: Anabelle Palloix-BESTION, Sophrologist