There it’s finished ! There it’s finished
Never be bitter, always be sincere
You got what you wanted, even if you didn’t want what you got
There it’s finished
Our two hands loosen from being too tight
The crowd takes us each on our side
It’s over… um, it’s over
Jean Louis Aubert – extract of ” there it’s finished “
This theme of the breakup is universal, it is indeed an experience shared by the greatest number, and yet each one lives it in his own way according to his education, his culture, his personality, and his history.
Like stress, rupture requires an adaptation reaction from our body.
The sentimental rupture first has a resonance, an impact on the bodily level with sensations of a lump in the stomach, tight chest, difficult breathing, knotted throat, feeling of diffuse pain. Vital body functions such as appetite or sleep are often disrupted.
The impact is also on the psychological level: fixed ideas, recurrent thoughts, ruminations, difficulty staying focused.
After a breakup, the person (especially the one who has been left or who has not made the decision to separate) experiences an avalanche of emotions and feelings that are sometimes difficult to manage. The palette is wide: sadness, anger, fear, misunderstanding, denial, guilt, feeling of emptiness, panic.
Often self-confidence is affected. The person begins to doubt himself, his physique and his qualities, his ability to be loved.
This sometimes leads to withdrawal, there is less interest in social life and there is a loss of desire for what used to be pleasant (leisure or sport), a loss of meaning and bearings.
Sleep or appetite disorders, loss of vital energy, avalanche of emotions, loss of self-confidence, all areas where sophrology finds its interest.
How can sophrology help?
- Reinvesting the body and bodily sensations
The sophrology sessions will allow first reinvest the body and bodily sensations. The need to refocus on oneself in such a difficult period is essential.
Our body at that time suffers and sends us messages, which are sometimes distress beacons: it is important to listen, to re-know the sensations and to welcome them. At the end of a session, some people told me of their astonishment concerning the perception of their rather pleasant and relaxed body as a whole which had given them back their morale and the feeling that it was possible to experience it. instant without suffering.
As for the work on breathing, it will allow you to resolve certain tensions, particularly those at the level of the diaphragm.
- Allow yourself to experience your emotions
It will be difficult to avoid emotions during this time.
Training in sophrology allows you to realize the regions of the body that suffer and react to emotions. It’s not about not feeling anymore, it’s about locating them and learning how to manage them.
For some people the job is to learn to externalize negative emotions, to allow themselves to live them, to let them express themselves. You have to allow yourself to be in pain, allow yourself to feel angry: accept the injury in order to start the healing process.
For others it is to try to neutralize them because they are too strong or too painful or disrupt professional life.
For some people, sophrology can help restore confidence, esteem and better self-image.
By gradually reclaiming the body, we can enhance self-image. And it is indisputable that the way we live our body affects this confidence.
Sophrology helps to become aware of its capacities (I am capable of …) and of its value (because I am worth it), in an objective reality.
In the exercises practiced, it is to perceive:
– that we can face the challenges of a shaken everyday life and adapt to change
– that one can be confident in one’s ability to think, to make choices, to make decisions, alone
– what fueled his esteem in his relationship or, on the contrary, what may have damaged him.
- A time of withdrawal necessary …
Take the time … A heartache cannot be resolved in a few weeks, especially when you have spent time with this person. A period of convalescence is essential.
People who have used sophrology following a rupture recognize that sophrological training was an opportunity to take advantage of this time of withdrawal into oneself to allow yourself calm, take a step back and detachment (which can avoid get into another relationship too quickly) and find a balance.
One person admitted to me that the sessions had helped him get through this forced loneliness and that he felt like a force at the idea of better identifying his desires and reconnecting with activities that they had left out.
“To change is also to accept to leave behind what is no longer nourishing us. It can be scary. But when something dies, it is to allow something else to be born “
- … To look to the future
Sophrology makes it possible to understand that if I am not responsible for certain events, I am responsible for the way in which I accept to live them. It is true that it is our behavior and our reaction to an event that will be determining for the future.
The 3 capacities: hope, harmony and confidence that the sophrologists approach in their session take on their full meaning in this context.
Take care of yourself, feel desirable again
Learn to respect yourself, regain self-confidence
Find desires, desires, a desire, a spirit…
Giving meaning and meaning to your life
Allow yourself to love again
Gradually relearn to live for yourself
Happiness is beneficial for the body but it is sorrow which develops the forces of the mind – Marcel Proust
Author: Laurence LE HENRY, Sophrologist.