Relax ? not so simple in reality
Sophrology is often presented as an approach simple, with tools simple and easy to integrate into everyday life to relax.
Indeed, what could be simpler than sitting down, breathing, making body movements (which are neither in the gym, nor yoga) and letting your imagination speak, using images? For some, it is all about doing nothing. However, this is where it gets complicated because these three tools must engage attention and concentration.
Certainly do nothing but do it well then, that is to say, by paying attention to the present moment.
What I have more than once noticed as a sophrologist is that in reality this simplicity confuses, annoys, disturbs, destabilizes, sometimes even it is uncomfortable. This desire to relax at any cost can also have the opposite effect. The path to simplicity is not as easy to access as you might think.
Some people dare not admit it the first time, but they are surprised at their difficulty in relaxing. However, this ability to relax, unwind, we have had since childhood. Babies have this innate ability to relax. Look at them with their comforter and / or their pacifier, it’s nothing but relaxation.
Relaxing is a learning experience. Our body already knows how to do it, but this mechanism may be a little distant or buried: it is enough to reactivate it.
Most of the time, we are in the “doing”, in the “acting”, in the “wanting”, and there to start we are just offered to do nothing, to let it happen ….
Most people think that relaxation is only possible when they are on vacation or when they are lying down and in silence. They rarely think about relaxing during the day, certain that there is no room for nothing and therefore emptiness. Still on the move, some of them alive …
What are the difficulties most often encountered?
The first difficulty encountered is to agree to change your pace, to slow down more often. Slow down the hectic pace of the day, allowing yourself to take a break, to distance yourself from a desk crumbling under the files, a mailbox filled with “emergencies” and being able to cut the cord with your mobile phone! Sometimes even just sitting or standing, quietly, calmly can become uncomfortable. It’s like going against the grain of performance demanded by the society in which we live.
Then comes also the difficulty to refocus on oneself, to listen to oneself, to listen to the sensations, to put words on feelings.
Very often, we realize that we are tense at the very moment when we relax. And the fact of landing and letting go of our body makes us aware of our sensations and the muscles relax spontaneously. Listening to this body which often talks to us (but which we rarely listen to except when it starts to become painful or sick) is not that simple either.
Staying focused, just being there, just occupying the moment, being able to face the silence are other difficulties that are sometimes mentioned.
Listening, Patience and Perseverance …
In its apparent simplicity, sophrology therefore requires real listening, real presence, and also patience, motivation, training and repetition.
It is easy to understand that the musician needs to repeat scales over and over again to master a musical instrument, that the sportsman trains every day to progress and achieve results, the same goes for listening to the body, concentration and relaxation.
But for that, you have to accept being a little patient, accepting that it doesn’t come right away and not being discouraged. Relaxing means accepting not to be in control of everything and also making room for the unexpected and surprise.
Despite the discomfort at the start of the session, the benefits felt are often significant. And these words, which are usually misunderstood: stopping, pausing, withdrawing, stillness, silence and slowness become a source of balance, strength and energy. Relaxation can allow us to draw from this moment of silence a beautiful source of energy to start our day better.
So, let’s listen to our body and our feelings. When our body demands a little relaxation or rest, let’s listen to it! and stop blaming ourselves for our temporary inactivity.
No need to be on the verge of burnout or depression to take an interest in relaxation. No need to wait for the long vacation on an island paradise to breathe either.
Let’s experience everyday relaxation and know how to welcome the simplicity of the moment!
Accept the simplicity of what is felt. Accept the simplicity of what is present in our daily lives.
Author: Laurence LE HENRY, Sophrologist.